The 30 day one

Day 24

the_independent_by_jodeee-d5l5wqv

Write about a lesson you’ve learned the hard way.

Be independent.

Before arriving in London September 2011, time in Bulgaria was pretty easy. Used to live with my ex boyfriend and was so dependent on him, that leaving him in my home town tore my reality apart. Funny enough, after a while, the realisation of how much exactly I was dependant always on someone, either my parents, my doggy or him, hit me the first month or so in the accommodation.

The following year was the hardest in my life. Could not sleep alone and every single night, used to be sleepless, full of wrong thoughts and tears. It was a whole cycle – four days in a row, woke up around 9 am and fell asleep around 4/5 am. On the fifth day, my body was exhausted of everything and the only thing hunting and torturing me, were nightmares. This continued just over a year.

How did I overcome my fears?

Well, the sleeping problems were kinda hard to solve. However, my ex gave me a polar bear from Coca Cola. His name is Zim and he is tiny. Don’t like big stuffed animals. Since then, nights got easier. I tried to lie my brain a lot. 😀 Last year my British family gave me a fluffy Dalmatian, hence the London Lucky. Everything is so much better now. Although, whenever I go home, Lucky next to me – the best sleep ever! He protects me and I feel safe.

The last time home, I also spend a couple of nights with my boy. I swear, did not dream about anything. Felt like I was blessed again. It is very true what they say about appreciating things after losing them.

The money problem is still fully on. It is incredibly hard to save when you earn less than thousand.

Learning to be fully independent is meeting with reality, stress and daily life problems. Especially, when you have a budget and do not know how not to buy shoes. 😀 Still figuring that one out.

This is it! Thank you so much!

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