Short stories

How not to fall in love.

tumblr_nu0xk2DDiU1ufv3nvo1_500

Good afternoon people! What a gorgeous day in London, no? Fog and all in the morning, the usual clouds in the afternoon. This city is so elegant! Always stylish, right?

Anywhooo, this is a must try recipe, rewritten from memories of an old post, permanently deleted for no reason at all. If you are hooked up, please, keep reading!

In order for the recipe to work, you need all the materials. Be cautious single people, you might end up in one too.

Ingredients: 

  • a girlfriend/ boyfriend (the most important one!)
  • a girl/ boy whom you like
  • a friend
  • a phone

How to: 

  1. The most important ingredient, as mentioned earlier, a girlfriend or boyfriend who needs to be real jealous and love you no matter what. Constant break up threats will keep it spicy. Also, no trust is essential! Basically, your relationship needs to be working only in her/his head and the farther the person is, the better. The rarer you see them, the faster and more prominent this recipe will work. large
  2. The second part is your friend, who would know someone attractive from somewhere and invite them with all your friends on a night out and not even mention it to YOU. On top of that, end up calling from her/his phone because they do not have enough credit in their own damn phone. The result: talking with a complete stranger who already knows who you are. Drink a lot avoiding your brain activity and how tasty this girl/boy is; and be slutty, remind yourself it is a ONE OFF TIME! joey
  3. Third ingredient: a hardly working phone with which you should text that person as often as you can. Find different reasons for it, be creative people! Also, if English is not first language, carry a dictionary with you in order to keep it up with the shenanigans! Invite them for dinner, a crazy adventure or just a nice cold beer. Anything will do!giphy

Secret tips: 

No makeup or full face would be advisable. Guys, keeping it up the Chewbaccas is helpful too! The greasy look is fully recommended.

rachel

A constant reminder from your friends in front of the girl/boy that you DO have a girlfriend/boyfriend will help bring up the best of the whole situation. Yes, yes. Definitely.

lisa

Cooking skills are not a must, but would definitely lighten up the man you are not in love with.

beef-trifle

And last tip, there is no way on earth, if in bad relationship and somehow meet someone incredible who does not stress you out, will not fall in love with that person. Congratulations on creating yet another dramatic triangle!

Sorry to crap on your head.

lisa ku

Thank you for reading!

Untitled-1

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “How not to fall in love.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s