Short stories

How not to host a dinner

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What you will not need:

  • Recipes for three course meal
  • Friends (quite frankly major one)
  • Time

How not to:

It is very important choosing a horrible holiday for celebrating and making sure nobody has days off. You do NOT want them all to attend. How are you going to feed all these throats?

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Secondly, you need complicated and time consuming recipes. You are Not Great and it is true! First hosted dinner party? Brilliant. Preparation is NOT the key! Table? Who needs setting one, just put them on the floor. Plastic crockery and cutlery is advised.

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What did you say? Time?


Make sure you stink of food in case someone does arrive. They might be totally attracted by your messy bun and shiny face, or the fact that you are a walking potato with stuffed chicken.

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Lastly, do not open the door! Let them climb over your garden. If you do not have one even better.

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Congratulations! You mastered it!

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P.S. It was huge. It was great and it is True.

The Easter dinner went absolutely fabulous. Time was running out indeed, however, I had an awesome housemate without whom I would not have been able to break a leg!

There were no left overs and everybody was tipsy and happy. It was all worth it.

More on Saturday! Keep an eye for the new posts: Wednesday and guess what? Saturday. Not funny. I know.



2 thoughts on “How not to host a dinner

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